Scrump

Zachary Hadel, known in the streets as "Scrump", is an internet comedian and conceptual piss artist. He also is a bitch and retareded. Scrump sucks ass at Puyo Puyo but is okay at Tetris, or something.

Early Life (~12.5e+10 - ~4,000 BCE)
Scrump is an entity shrouded in legend and mystique. It is a well known fact that he survived every major extinction thanks to his big fucking brain. Scrump was actually more powerful in his embryonic stage, thanks in part to his species' "kill" perk.

Controversy
Scrump actually wasn't that good at Tetris, that was a lie. The Early Life stuff was a lie too.